Making & Keeping Resolutions
It’s that time of year again, so we might as well talk about it.
Over the years, I have made a variety of New Year’s resolutions. I’m guessing you have, too.
From losing weight (for real this time), to saving more money, to reading the Bible consistently every day…the list goes on. But friends…we are friends, right?…let me share something with you. I have not EVER been successful. I mean EVER!
I’m one of those people that the regular gym-goers wait out for the first month of the year so they can get back to their normal population and their regular machine. I always find something that I MUST HAVE that takes priority over saving more. And the daily Bible reading just falls by the side when a new TV show is premiered, or the snooze button calls my name.
The activities and behaviors that had been so important to me on January 1 quickly lost their significance and the strong stick-to-it’ness that I had just isn’t as sticky anymore. I rarely make it past my birthday which is February 2. Sad, I know.
So, friends, over the past few weeks I’ve given some thought to why this happens. Why am I so successful at failing to keep my New Year’s resolutions? See what I did there?
Every new year, I set out to start a new activity or behavior so that I can be new and different at the end of the year. The problem is, I have not given any thought to the bigger picture or the ultimate goal.
I was reminded of a thought that I had a couple of years ago.
Until you find the true you, a new you will always get old.
Ever heard the term “New Year, New Me”? I’m constantly trying to become new every year, because I have not tapped into my true self. Until I have defined who the true me is, changing a behavior here and there will be fruitless. It’s like Habit #2 in Franklin Covey’s The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People – Begin with the End in Mind.
“Begin With the End in Mind means to begin each day, task, or project with a clear vision of your desired direction and destination, and then continue by flexing your proactive muscles to make things happen.”1
The true you is your desired direction and destination. Once that is established and clear, you should make resolutions in line with that vision and start flexing your proactive muscles to make things happen.
Here’s a quick 2-step approach to doing that:
Full disclosure, this is inspired by Atomic Habits: Tiny Changes, Remarkable Results by James Clear. And yes, I recommend this book. Hopefully I can commit to finishing it this year. I KNOW!
- Decide the type of person you want to be(come).
Define the physical, spiritual, financial and relational characteristics of that person that are desirable to you. Things like:
She’s healthy and energetic.
She’s peaceful and emotionally stable.
She’s financially responsible.
She’s present with her family.
Imagine the type of results that person could accomplish. - Prioritize behavior changes that you can focus on that will help you transform from the person you are to the person you desire to be(come).
Allow for small wins to keep you motivated along the journey. Always tie these changes back to the person defined in #1. Challenge your decisions by asking questions like:
Is this snack going to help me become healthy and energetic?
Does this activity promote my peace and emotional stability?
Would a financially stable person make this purchase today?
Is this activity more important than my presence at my child’s soccer game? (Yes, I’m a proud soccer mom!)
This might take some time and attention to get started. But once this framework is in place, it will be easy to see which existing behaviors or habits to keep, which to stop and which new ones to start (i.e. New Year’s Resolutions that you actually keep).
I expect that you will begin to experience the emergence of the truest and most anticipated form of you. And you know what else, friends? Everyone else will experience it, too!
That person, the true you, never gets old. Only better.
Imagine that.
- https://www.franklincovey.com/habit-2/
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Great perspective. I enjoyed reading this article as I begin to tackle the 2023.